Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 18

6 years ago

Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 18

PORT-HARCOURT

we arrived at Port-Harcourt for no reason and we have nowhere to stay.

Me: flex, na wetin even carry us come here self?

Flex: na that girl na, we must sample that girl o.

Me: flex na true talk you talk o. Wether devil like it or not we must sample that girl.

The driver drove to Peace Mass Transit, port harcourt branch and stopped, everyone came down including the girl.

*girl’s phone rang*

Girl: hello Alhaji Danfodio.

Alhaji: ******

Girl: aya, am so sorry I didn’t inform you on time oo. Am currently in Lagos now.
I turned and looked at Flex and Flex also gave me this, “we don lost look”.

Girl: I don’t know but I will be back before this week ends.

Alhaji: *******

Girl: ok good bye, love you.

She dropped the call and me and Flex walked up to her to say hi.

Me: hello.

Girl: hi, how can I help you.

She said, chaii, this girl too fine like mad. She too fine enh. Me self come fear to talk to her oo. See as my whole body just dey busy dey shake.

Me: erm, I just come ask you wether na, na, na, na,

Girl: talk na, you dey craze.

Me: no ma.

Girl: you be stamerer?

Me: yes ma.

Girl: abeg do fast talk wetin bring you here, I no get time to waste.

Me: na phone dey your hand so?

Girl: no, na plasma television, mtcheew!!!

Flex: hey!!!

He called at the girl as she was about to go away.

Girl: I hope that you too are not here to waste my time.

Flex: no o. Me and my friend are new in this place.

Girl: which of your friend? This dummy?
She said pointing at me.

Me: **chaii, I don suffer o.**

flex: hahaha, he is just being shy. As I was saying, we are new here and we don’t know anywhere to spend the night. Do you know any place where we can stay?

Girl: yes I do, followe me.
*****************************
MILE 2

We got to a place called Mile 2 in port harcourt.

Girl: welcome the family of coolvallers.
She said as the ushered us into a compound. Me and flex laughed uncontrollably.

Me: na wetin be the family of coolvallers.

Girl: na worry, you go understand very very soon, by the way, call me jummybabe.

Flex: jummybabe, na which kind name be that.

Me: na swhaili?

Flex: abi na Portuguese?

Jummybabe: lol, actually the short form of jumoke.

Me n Flex: ok o.
*****************************
she climbed on a staircase and knocked at a certain door. Just then, one huge man came out.

Man: haa jummybabe, you don come back?

Jummybabe: yes o oga val.

Oga val: na who be this two?

Jummybabe: Idris and Flex, shabi that room for back still dey vacant?

Oga Val: yes o, they want rent am?

Jummybabe: yes of course.

Oga Val: ok, night don do for now.
Tomorrow mu go talk. I dey come make I go bring the keys.

Jummybabe: ok, thank you very very much.

Oga val: you are welcome.

He said and entered inside his room. He later came back with the keys which he gave to jummybabe and she gladly took us to our new apartment.

Me: thank you.

Jummybabe: you are welcome.

Me: and am also sorry for what I did earlier.

Jummybabe: you are forgiven. Meet you guys tomorrow.

Flex n me: ok, thanks and goodbye