Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 13

6 years ago

Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 13

I stood up with anger in my eyes.

Me: flex.

Flex. Yes.

Me: stand up.

Flex willingly obeyed.

Me: pull all your clothes, just wear only your pants!

flex: haa, you don finally mad be that oo.

Me: shut up and obey me. You dey mad!!!
I shouted with fury. For once he became scared. He hurriedly pulled of his cloths. I smiled, wear your clothes follow me.

Flex: **ahh! This guy don mad o. I better follow am or else, him fit kill me for here o**
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I borrowed money and we took a bike to suleja market where we stopped and I payed the bike man.

Flex: you dey craze?

Me: how?

Flex: money where you use pay this bike man never reach us to buy kuli kuli?

Me: no worry, after this my ultimate plan you go eat enough and enough.

Flex: hmm.

Me: follow me.

Those living in Niger state know how suleja market is really crowded with lots of people including traders.

We were able to locate a secret place.

Me: pull your clothes again.

Flex: you dey mad? What of if people see us. You no know say na fourteen years in prison be that.

Me: cool down, nobody go see us. Just obey me and pull your clothes.

Flex: I just hope you know wetin you dey do.

He said as he hurriedly pulled off his cloth. I brought out the powder in my pocket and sprayed it all over his body.
*****************************
I ran with full force with my last strength, like a mad man, people were looking at me when I suddenly shouted.

Me: *pointing at one corner* EBOLA!!! EBOLAAAAA!! EBOLA PATIENT!

Mallam yusuf: Jesus!!!!!!

Woman: na Ebola patient oo.

Man: everybody make una run o.

Police 1: Jesus, I am too young, I am too young ooo.

The whole market was under pandemonium. I quickly took a big lylon bag, Ghana must go bags and started my own work.
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OUR APARTMENT

Me and flex was smiling. The whole Suleja traders ran out from their market and the whole place was empty.

We made sure we ate a lot and a lot and a lot before coming back to our house. But before we came back, I made sure that flex has removed all the powder on his body and he was putting on new clothes.

This is to make sure people will not recognized him as the fake ebola patient and we don’t want anyone to arrest us and take us to the hospital where the real ebola patients are kept.

Flex: chaii baba. I no know say you wise oo.

Me: na curse you want curse me?

Flex: no be so. The thing be say this your plan dey pay.

Me: i think! See how many many people just run.

Flex: Idris, all these foodstuffs were we pack go even last us for one full month o.

Me: na so na. We no go dey go everyday if not people go notice. Na once a month everytime. Make I see those clothes wey you pack.

Flex. See them for their.
He said pointing to a chair.

Me: chaii, na fine fine cloths oo.

Flex: what of you, how many pairs of shoe you carry.

Me: I loot like four or three.

Flex: very very good. Business don start o.