Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 14

Episode 6 years ago

Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 14

NEXT DAY

The next day which is Sunday. We quickly woke up. One thing I love about us is that we don’t Joke with church at all. We are strong believers and I love that.

I ran outside to brush my teeth when I heard.


“PAAA”
“PAA PAA”
“PAA”
“PAA PAA PAA”

Mallam Musa: today na today. Because I dey leave am por you ever since you think am say you fit win me ko?

Baba Ayo: taarh, before your mama born you self, me self don dey play this game since, ahh!

Mallam Musa: see am for this shanu o (cow). Walahi talahi na for arewa wey dem get am for this game fa.

Baba Ayo: ahh, kilode (wetin) na from osun wey dey originate draft oo, ah!

This thing vex me enh. Wait o. So this useless men go play draft from Monday till Sunday, morning till night.

They are very heartless. Na so them go leave their wives make dem dey hustle while them go dey play this rubbish game 24/7.


Me: In fact I don vex.

I said as I dropped my cup and rushed to where they were busy playing their draft.


Me: una good morning oo.
Baba Ayo: ahh Ideris…

Me: my name no be Ideris but Idris.

Mallam Musa: hahaha, the Idiot no fit pronounce am for Edris.

Me: kai, na which one be Edris again.

Me: abeg just forget about the name make we talk matter.

Mallam Musa: na por which matter you won make me talk?

He said focusing on the draft keenly.

Me: why una dey jobless and useless?


Baba Ayo: *looked back* come Ideris, ah, na who you dey talk to?

Me: una, the two of una.

Mallam Musa: you are very scoolfis!

Me: hahaha, na stupid you won take? Idiot.


Mallam Musa: toor, why you come here dey ask am for us rubbish question?

Me: today na thunder go fire the both of una.

Baba Ayo: mogbe!


Me: una go leave una wife dey suffer while una dey here they play this rubbish game. Children no go go school, why? Because no money, Why? Because papa no gree work. This one…..

I said pointing at Mallam Musa.


Me: your mate dey carry cow dey trek from lake chad to port Harcourt just to feed their family, wetin you dey here? This other Idiot,
I said pointing at baba ayo.

Me: him mate don go church since. Some don go look for daily bread. Others dey take care of their family. The ones wey be confirm babalawo dey progress everyday by day, wetin you dey here dey do?

Baba Ayo: ah, ah, ah, mogbe! This boy don see me finish.

Just then, Mama Ayo came out and continued from where I stopped while I hurriedly ran to my room to prepare for church as I was running late.

Mama Ayo: useless man, you see your life? Na small boy dey advice you. Wooooo, go look for job, you no go go. From January to December, Monday to Friday and morning to night, na paa, paa, paa, dey play draft anyhow, mtcheew!

She said and left.


Mallam Musa: kai walahi dem plan am o.

Baba Ayo: mtcheew, forget about them joor. I don kill you for this side o.

Mallam Musa: kai I no see am walahi, repeat am again.

Baba Ayo: ah mallam musa!!