Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 33

6 years ago

Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 33

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I wanted to turn back when the red flame suddenly appeared again, with more intensity this time around.

I just silently ran to the sitting room and was glad that flex was there waiting for me already.

Flex: Idris.

Me: Flex I don die.

Flex: wetin kill you.

Me: my next sacrifice na dencygirl. And you know the way I love her very much. How you go want make I kill her now?
I asked.

Flex: your own even better well well.

Me: why you say so?

Flex: me an my blood the useless thing go settle down choose, my cousin for that matter.

Me: Jesus Christ. Wetin we go do now, I no want anything to happen to Dency o.

Flex: the best thing now is to visit that useless baba o. The man go give us useless charm.

Me: na true u talk. Make I go tell dencygirl say I dey go out.

I went to the kitchen where she was preparing lunch.

Me: dency I dey come.

Dency: where una dey go again?

Me: we want just visit some business client, we go come back very very soon.

Dencygirl: OK do come back quick. I no want make your food cold o.

Me: no problem.

I said walking out of the kitchen.

Me: oya flex, make we dey go.

I said to Flex who stood up and followed me.
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Me: baba, I greet you.

Flex: baba I greet you too.
We both greeted the old man sitting before his shrine.

Baba: my sons, what brought you here?

Me: baba na the charm wey you give us carry us come here.

Baba: the charm I gave to you guys, what happened.

Me: the next person I am to sacrifice is my love…

I shouted in anger.

Donflex; and I can’t believe that my cousin is the next inline for me to sacrifice.

Baba: oh I understand.

Me: but baba, na you say we go dey sacrifice prostitute wey that fire dey burn for their head.

Flex: wetin come happen.

Baba: I forgot to tell you something. Once in every five years, you are entitled to loose the one closest to you.

Me: what!!!!

Baba: yes, sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. But there’s no cause for alarm. After sacrificing them, you will continue with your normal rituals.

I wanted to shout Jesus Christ but I thanked the unknown force that prevented me from doing that.

Baba: common don’t be sad. Other girls you had been killing since are people’s children too you know.

Flex: so you want me to sleep with my cousin, is that so?

Baba: not me, that’s the demand of the gods.

Flex: God forbid, I no go do am.

Me: even me too. I no go dare temper with my love dencygirl..

Baba: then prepare to face the wrath of gods in three days time.

Me: d--n the gods, d--n you too. Nonsense old and foolish man.

Flex: see him bald head, like sahel Savannah.

Me: sahel Savannah even better. See how the foolish man dey like tropical rainforest.

Baba: insult me all you like. But you have less than three days to offer them up.

Flex: and if we refuse?

Baba: get ready to face the wrath of the gods.

We left baba’s shrine so angry and fraustrated.
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Me: flex, imagine wetin the baba talk?

Flex: no mind the useless man, nothing go happen.

Me: then wetin we go do?

Flex: make we just go sleep with any ashawo we find.

Me: why?

Flex: na the way baba program the charm. Make we sleep with ashawo, not our loved ones.

Me; on naw.

Flex: make we commot from here quick quick.

He said as we entered our car and drove off.
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