Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 8

6 years ago

Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 8

Me: donflex wake up.
I said trying to wake Flex.

Me: flex wake up na. We no go go work again abi na me tell you to over f--k?

Flex: abeg I don tire. That girl fit kill person. Abeg make we just use today take rest abeg you with almighty God.

Me: but I don already brush our suit na.

Flex: I know, make we just use today rest abeg.

Me: okay o. No wahala.

I said as I kept the suit. At least we don work enough. Its time to rest. I went outside only to see what is happening.

Me: chaii, na wow for this two men o.
I said immediately I got outside. Mallam Musa and Baba Ayo don start draft this early momo.
I was still thinking when Halima greeted me from behind.

Halima: Oga Idris good morning.

Me: good morning Halima. How was your night.

Halima: very fine o. I come thank you and flex for yesterday. Abeg make una manage this small food.

She said giving me a small food flask.

Me: ah ah. What are neighbours for? We just dey help na.

Halima: I know, just take am.

Me: okay, thank you very much

.
Halima: you are welcome.
She said as she bounced her big a-s away. I just pray make another match dey today. Well today na flex turn. If match go dey today, then tomorrow na my turn.

I entered inside with the food flask.

Me: flex wake up o, food don come.

Flex: where food go before? I send food message?

Me: I mean food don come.

Flex: leave me make I sleep abeg. I no send food any message.

No problem. No be say una go say I want eat I know call my friend. I opened the flask and the nice scent of one delicious beans bombarded his nose.

Flex: yeeeee!!
He jumped up from the bed.

Flex: e b like say food don come o.

Me: no, still dey sleep abeg. Food never come.

Flex: who give you this beans?

Me: haa, na Halima o.

Flex: talk true?

Me: I swear to God na she give us as regard yesterday

Flex: I know.

Me: you know wetin?

Flex: that girl dey enjoy the way we dey press am. You check it out na. Anytime we dey press her, she go dey shift her a-s make the thing dey rub our d--k.

Me: na true oo. I for say na mumu she be when she no dey gree pursue us?

Flex: well, make we just dey watch things for this our face me I slap you house. Abeg go find garri make we use dissolve this beans.

Me: look at how you dey send me like say i be your boy.

*****************************
“Knock Knock”

Mama Iyabo: Yes!! Who be that?
She shouted as she came outside.

Me: good morning Ma.

Mama Iyabo: good morning o Idris.

Me: how Iyabo and papa Iyabo na?

Mama Iyabo: Papa Iyabo don go work while Iyabo don go school.

Me: abeg oo, I just come ask wether you get this garri wey no dey sour. The last garri wey we buy na sour one and we no know. The garri just full house and we no dey use am.

Mama Iyabo: ok just wait.
She said and entered inside her house. She later came back with two big cups of garri inside a lylon bag and gave to me.

Me: ahh, thank you very much o.

Mama Iyabo: don’t mention, we be neighbours na.

****************************

“Knock knock”

Mama Peace: yes I dey come.
She shouted and came outside.

Me: good morning mama Peace.

Mama Peace: good morning Idris.

Me: how Papa peace and how peace na.

Mama Peace: dem dey o.

Me: I just come ask whether I fit get white sugar from you. The brown sugar wey we get for house water don too soak am.

Mama Peace: eyaa, I don come.

She said and went inside bringing me some sugar inside a small water proof.

Me: thank you very much.
I said and ran off.

Time to wack.

.