Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 26

Episode 6 years ago

Tales of two funny ritualist - Season 1 - Episode 26

Continues from the last episode
**WATER SPLASH**

Dencygirl: Jesus Christ!! Jummybabe, soma and victoriouschild. Make una pray make Idris wake up oo, or this compound no go contain us.

Victoriouschild: abeg dencygirl no vex. We no know say..

Dencygirl: *crying* you no know wetin, abeg no tell me that nonsense. Flex blow more breeze abeg.

Donflex: my hands dey pain me o. Abeg make una go fetch more water.

Victoriouschild: I go go fetch am.

Jummybabe: oh God, protect Idris for us.

Soma: chaii, my conscience no go make me rest oo. God please.

Victoriouschild: see the water here.


**WATER SPLASH**

Me: *coughs* *coughs*


Dencygirl: *excitedly* he dey alive oo. Thank God.

I regained myself but the images I saw was blur.
For a minute or two, I thought I was dead.

Me: I don die.

Dencygirl: God forbid. Abeg no mind them victoriouschild but thank God say you survive.

She said and hugged me tightly. Maybe a hug from the most pretty damsel in planet earth is all I need to refresh my body and heal all broken bones.

Victoriouschild: Idris no vex abeg. I know say wetin you do dey terrible but we too for no beat you like that.

Jummybabe: sorry you hear. No mind me, I been dey vex that time so I come transfer everything to you.

Soma: sorry too. I for separate but I come fall hands too.

Me: alright. I have forgiven you guys.

They stayed around with me for a little while before leaving to their various houses, all except dencygirl who stayed behind.

Dencygirl: how you dey feel now?

Me: I dey better.

Dencygirl: aya. No mind those girls abeg. Erm, I cook rice oo. Una go eat.

Flex: yes, we go eat.

Dencygirl: ok, I dey come.
She said and went out.

Me: you dey craze?

Flex: wetin you mean?

Me: look as you just accept the food sharp sharp. You know even think?

Flex: forget that thing abeg. Man dey hungry well well. But wait oo, wetin you do this girl?

Me: wetin you mean?

Flex: see the way she like you well well, I mean love. Wetin you do her abeg, tell me make I do jummybabe, soma or even victoriouschild.


Me: na now I know say you dey mad. You see the way those girls brutalise me with the seven laws, twelve commandments and the twenty seven rules of karate and you still want date them.

Flex: forget that thing. Meet too receive training for Japanese, Chinese and Rome, I fit defend myself.

Me: hahahaha. your brain still dey amateur level. I no fit laugh abeg.

Just then, dencygirl came in with a tray containing two plates of rice garnished with fish stew. D--n, the delicious aroma could wake up the dead. So this angel is good at cooking.

She gave one plate to flex and trust my guy, I was surprised when donflex brought out a big spoon (that spoon you use to turn stew or soup) from his pocket and began to attack the food as if there is no tomorrow.

Me and dencygirl just laughed at him. Dencygirl took a spoon from the tray and turned the stew, then she started feeding me as if I am a little child. Wow, the food taste so delicious and the fact that dencygirl was the one feeding me made it more delicious. I truly love this girl and I pray she feels the same for me.


TWO WEEKS LATER

The D-day has finally arrived. The day we will pull out our ebola stunt and receive cash in return. We made sure everything is prepared before going out but a birthday song made us stop.
We went outside to check and wow, the coolvalers were singing a birthday song to jummybabe. She is celebrating her birthday.

Without wasting time, we took our seat and joined in singing the song for her while our eyes scan for food. Too our greatest joy, food, drinks and cakes were shared and we ate enough to reenergise us for the task ahead.

Then dancing followed. The dj was good as he gave us jamz upon jamz and soon enough, we were all dancing. Each guy finding a female partner to dance with.

The birthday was so nice and matured. Few guys like oga val stood by while the rest of us were dancing. The celebrant jummybabe was a great dancer. Froshberry and talent scout were killing it but konami, Jesus Christ.

Konami was killing the word “DANCE” in a brutal way that made me laugh. He was dancing “AJASCO”, “MAKOSSA” and every “GOD FORBID DANCE” you can ever think of. For some reason, I remember how an earthworm reacts when placed upon salt.

At the end of the competition, me and flex were crowned best male dancers (thanks to the numerous practice sections we have in Niger state). Dencygirl and the celebrant Jummybabe were crowned best female dancers too.

The party was a success. When the party ended, me and flex were ready to embark on our mission when dencygirl drew me to a corner with a serious look in her eyes.

Dencygirl: we need to talk.
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